And then pursue other people,” says Birch. “If life leads you back to your partner in due time, that’s amazing. In other words, you can’t give dating (The apps! The mind games! The excitement!) due diligence if you’ve got a note on your calendar to get back together with your ex. The reason? Quality dating takes time, and the first rule of taking a break is that you need to have an end-date in mind. For instance, “If one of you wants to date other people, because you think there may be someone better out there for you, it’s best to break up, not take a break,” says Birch. While it never hurts to try a break before officially breaking up, there are instances where it’s less likely to work, say the experts. We spoke to one woman who asked for a break with her boyfriend after getting a breast cancer diagnosis, because she just didn’t have the headspace to manage both her treatment and a romantic life. Think: a severe illness or a familial conflict. (And good news: After the break, they came back together, decided to get married and now have an adorable daughter.)Įxtreme stress, unrelated to the relationship, can be another valid cause for break-taking. It was simply inevitable that one or both of them became curious about what else was out there, and if their relationship was suited to adult life. It’s not that they weren’t good together. In their mid-20s, they decided to take a break. We know one couple who got together during freshman year of high school and had never been apart since. But it can also happen if you’ve been together forever, especially if you first started dating at a very young age. This might be something external, like a big move or a job change, that has put pressures on the amount of energy you can give one another. “You should consider a break when you’ve lost perspective on the relationship, or something else is preventing you or your partner from giving the relationship the time and attention it deserves,” explains Birch. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to the matter, there are instances where taking a break in a relationship is more likely to aid in your eventual reconciliation.
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